As told to guest author Jane Bongato in this whimsical, Christmas guest post. Thanks, Jane!
Hello! I’m Santa’s Elf #12, in charge of Kids’ Christmas letters. However, I started out as Santa’s Elf #1798 in Shipping and Receiving, but over the decades I worked my way up. The last Elf #12 left to become a stand-up comic, so I got kicked upstairs. Good thing, too, because I was lousy at making boxes. In fact, I once accidentally shipped myself to a little boy in Timbuktu, but that’s another story.
Our First Christmas Letter…
…is by Kayra, age 7, from Massachusetts, USA. It’s a letter I can sympathize with, having worked in shipping and receiving: “Santa, It was neat that you bought the same wrapping paper my mom did last year! She said she even saw you in the store buying it!” Hmmm, a clever mom gets to use last year’s wrapping and keeps the vision of ole St. Nick alive in her child’s eye. Splendid.
It’s All About Whether You’re Naughty or Nice
Kids tune into their behavior starting about the beginning of December. For example, little Bryan of Washington, USA, worries, “My Daddy said if I am not good that you will have to give my toys to a little boy who is good. I think that little boy is going to get a lot of toys this year.”
But another, Brian from Canada, is not so happy about those prospects: “Dear Santa, Mommy says that you only bring presents to good little boys. That isn’t fair.”
Patricia, 12, also of Canada, is relying on her teacher’s testimonial: “I’m going to leave out my report card just to prove how good I’ve been!”
However, Sarah, 6, of Colorado, USA, certainly isn’t counting on backup from adults: “I have been really good all year long…just don’t ask Mommy and Daddy if that’s true.”
And Then There’s The Christmas Eve Santa Snack
Leaving treats out for Santa on Christmas Eve is a time-honored tradition, as illustrated by Lisa, 8, of New York, USA: “Dear Santa, Would you rather I leave you cookies and milk or pizza? Dad says you’d probably like the pizza.” Sounds like Santa’s a true New Yorker…and a dad.
Though this letter did mention food, it seems that something else was happening last year according to Nicole, 5, of Glasgow, Ireland: “I hope you enjoy the Christmas food. But please, don’t rip your trousers in the chimney this year. We won’t always have a spare pair, you know!”
Um, don’t ask. I’m just the elf.
Actually, It’s About Christmas Presents!
Sometimes we get a hint of what’s going on at home, as revealed by Jenny, age 8, in her letter: “Dear Santa, Please give me a doll this year. I would like her to eat, walk, do my homework, and help me clean my room. Actually, now that I think about it, just bring me a maid instead.”
And Mike, 10, from Des Moines, USA, says: “Dear Father Christmas, Thanks for the train set. My dad loves it and plays with it all the time.” I often wonder how many toys are solely for the “children” in certain families.
Of course, technology has an impact on our lives, and it affects us here at the North Pole, too. Tommy, 7, of Illinois, USA, says: “Santa, I will be using Doppler radar to track you and Rudolph on the Internet on Christmas Eve. Please drive safely, and don’t text while flying.”
But will Santa really be safe? “I’ve heard that Rudolf shoots lasers from his nose to protect the North Pole, is it true?” asks Stephen, 9, of Alberta, Canada.
And the ubiquitous cell phone has a deep impact. “Santa, I can’t find my Christmas list. Please call my daddy, he has it on his cell phone. Love, Roberto, Manila, Philippines.”
But you know the world has changed when a youngster says something like this and is exactly right: “Santa I think you are the best person in the whole World Wide Web,” Megan, 9, of Waterford, Ireland.
And Finally, My Favorite Christmas Letter
“Dear Santa, I know the elves have to work really, really hard, so if they can’t make all that I want I understand. Please don’t make then work too hard,” from Lee, 7, Kentucky, USA.
Well, I’m feeling a bit selfish (or should I say “elf-ish”?) about that wish. So I tell you what, this elf won’t take any time off until December 26th. In the mean time, Merry Christmas to all! (And keep those letters coming!)
About the Guest Author:
Jane Bongato is part of the team behind Open Colleges, Australia’s provider of child care courses and counseling courses. She is an early childhood educator and for the past six years has worked closely with special needs children. She enjoys reading, painting or meeting friends during her spare time. (Find her on Google+ )
I’m pleased to have Jane contribute such a delightful Christmas guest post on my blog. Thanks again, Jane! And have a wonderful holiday season.
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Stacy Dymalski is an award winning keynote speaker and stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). This blog is her new stage.
For more of Stacy’s comedy check out her hilarious book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom available in paperback and on Kindle on Amazon.com.