How I Got Rich Off Publishers Weekly
I’m the first to admit everyone makes mistakes. Even me. Okay, especially me. But nothing prepared me for the online confusion that surrounded my big news last week.
A week ago Monday (on April 10) my book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom got a great review by Publishers Weekly. And by the way (quick sidebar), if you haven’t read my book by now, you need to do so pronto! Here’s a little of what Publishers Weekly had to say:
This laugh-out-loud funny parenting memoir from standup comedian Dymalski (The Vixen Chronicles) will keep readers entertained, whether they want children, have children, or want nothing to do with children…Full of hilarious and memorable moments and including chapters titled “The Art of Using Scissors (Blood and Gore, Part 1),” “Working Off Fat Season,” “Mom Jeans,” and “Excuse Me, I Volunteered for What?” Dymalski’s book will engage readers cover to cover.
You can purchase this dazzling book as a hardcopy on Amazon or you can get it for your Kindle. Makes the perfect baby shower or Mother’s Day gift. So hop to it! Your mom is waiting for a good laugh! And if you just had a baby, you’re probably on the brink of losing your sense of humor, so Confessions of a Band Geek Mom will keep you from falling into that dismal abyss brought on by lack of sleep combined with the smell of Destin butt cream.
Now back to my story.
I found out about this review through a Google alert on my name. Happily I read the opinions of this brilliant literary reviewer and then tweeted it. Shortly after that I started getting emails from people asking me what I was going to do with all that money. Thinking these people were trying to be funny I volleyed back by saying I’d use it to teach texting teenagers the proper use of real words and that LMFAO is not an adjective to describe a YouTube video of cats playing ping-pong using pork chops as paddles.
And that’s when all hell broke loose.
I started getting emails from altruistic endeavors inquiring if I could find it in my heart to give to their humble causes. It was like being asked at Whole Foods if I wanted to donate my bag credit to charity…times a thousand. Even though I was immensely flattered that these people thought my book was destined to be a huge “Dave Barry-esque” best seller, I thought it was a little presumptuous of everyone to hit me up BEFORE I had the cash.
But then FINALLY someone I knew forwarded me an email in which the subject line read “Author/Comedian Wins PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE!” Holy cow, do they mean me?! Last I checked Ed McMahon never graced my front door with balloons and a gigantic check, which would’ve been really creepy since he died in 2009. Plus, I think he worked for American Family Publishers (not Publishers Clearing House)…and by the way, I didn’t win that either.
I quickly responded letting everyone know that there’d been a huge million-dollar mistake. I didn’t win any money I just received a wonderful review of my book. Not that I’m not grateful, but let’s face it, there’s a gargantuan difference the size of Donald Trump’s ego between Publishers Weekly and Publishers Clearing House.
Turns out when one of my kindhearted friends sent out a message from her smart phone about my review she mistyped “Publishers Weekly” in such a way that the autocorrect replaced it with “Publishers Clearing House.” She didn’t notice the error (because the fonts on those smart phones are so dang small) so when she launched this big news into cyberspace it procreated faster than horny hamsters on a hot day.
Nobody was more surprised than me to learn of my windfall, especially since I happen to be in debt up to my nose hairs and I’ve got two kids staring down college. Which leads me back to that buy-my-book thing. I may not have won Publishers Clearing House, but I did get a fabulous book review by Publishers Weekly. To me that’s just as valuable…um, except for the not winning any money part. Other than that they’re exactly the same.
Did you like this post? If so, please click on the banner below to vote for me as a Top Mommy Blogger on TopMommyBlogger.com. I don’t win anything except a higher search engine ranking, plus bragging rights to my kids that I’m not as dorky as they think. (Okay, well maybe I am that dorky, but at least I’ll be easier to find on the Web.)
Stacy Dymalski is a stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). This blog is her new stage.