Yesterday I overheard two moms in the grocery store talking about the schools their kids had applied to and whether or not they thought they’d get in. I have to admit, my ears grew big on this one, since I have a junior in high school, and I know our family is destined to walk this same path any minute.
The moms in the store went on about the pains of soon having to pay thousands of dollars in annual tuition (one even thought she’d have to get a second job), but then quickly added that it was worth it because the education these prestigious schools provide would give their children the leg up they need to get ahead in life. I caught snippets of words like “academic excellence,” “high test scores,” “private school,” “financial aid,” and “French Club.”
As I lingered over the fancy cheese case, pretending to read every label on every individually wrapped hunk of Limburger, I grew increasingly frustrated that the gabbing moms still hadn’t mentioned the names of these coveted institutions of higher learning. Geez Louise, I thought, how rude of them to make me stand there and eavesdrop for so long, when I could be home spying on my neighbors instead.
“We’re dying to know if little Pugsly got in,” said one mom, obviously still too attached to her son if she’s prefacing his name with diminutive adjectives. I pictured a six-foot, smelly teenager who played linebacker on the varsity football team. “We applied for early decision, so I hope that helps.” I leaned on my shopping cart, causing it to discretely close in.
“We applied for early decision, too. But that won’t help one bit if our Carlton doesn’t get his act together and figure out how to pee in the potty.” The cart slid out from under me, and I hit the floor like a sack of cat litter, taking a pyramid of Gouda down with me.
“Oh, that,” said the other mom, as I quickly tried to rebuild the Eiffel Tower of cheese. “Pugsly isn’t potty-trained yet, either. But it’s only March, and I figure we still have until September to convince him to give up his pull-ups.”
OMG, they were talking about PRESCHOOL!
Since when does being in the right preschool guarantee your child will get into the Wharton School of Business when he turns 18? Honestly, I’d be a little more concerned that my kid had mastered scissors, and yet still preferred relieving himself after a big meal with the help of “heavy-dooty” Huggies.
This is why I love blogging awards; you don’t get them unless someone nominates you for one. What if getting into preschool were the same way?
“I’d like to nominate my neighbor’s toddler, Damien, for acceptance into the Children of the Corn Preschool, because he’s an untamed hoodlum who insists on ramming his Big Wheels into park cars WHILE terrorizing the neighborhood cats with a squirt gun. Therefore we feel he’d be perfect for Children of the Corn’s touchy-feely approach to undisciplined education. Plus, it would get that little monster off our streets for a few hours each day.”
Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening any time soon. Therefore, this obsession with getting into the “right” preschool will probably continue to the point at which parents will soon be filling out the college FAFSA, just to make sure they’re not trying to sneak Junior into a preschool that’s not conducive with the family income bracket.
In the mean time, however, I will happily accept any blogging awards you wish to bestow upon me. Two of which found their way to my blog in the last couple of weeks. On March 10, Sarah Harris, who writes the Makes Me Wander blog, nominated my blog for the Sunshine Award, and on March 15, the lovely lady who writes the Good Old Girl blog nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. A sincere thank you to you both!
Since I’ve already won the Versatile Blogger Award once before, I’ll fulfill the requirements of the Sunshine Award and call it good.
Rules for the Sunshine Award
- Post the award picture with a backlink to the person who nominated you
- Answer the ten questions posed to you
- Pass on the award to 10 or more bloggers
- Favorite color: Green, which is the color my face turns whenever I have to pay “extracurricular fees” for my kids to attend public school
- Favorite animal: Cat, because I’d like to be able to give someone the finger just by lifting my tail (if I had a tail)
- Favorite number: 1 million, the exact number of dollars it feels like it takes to run our household
- Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Pomegranate juice…but only if there’s a little vodka in it
- Facebook or Twitter: Twitter, because it’s the ADD child of social media
- My passion: Writing, because I can’t afford therapy
- Getting or giving presents: Getting…especially if it comes in a Nordstrom box
- Favorite pattern: Male pattern baldness, but only if you can rock it like Patrick Stewart or Vin Diesel
- Favorite day of the week: Saturday – as far from the workweek as possible (I stole this from Sarah Harris, because she’s right)
- Favorite flower: Dandelion, because it’s so determined the dang thing grows even out of a crack in the sidewalk
Here are 10 bloggers that I nominate for the Sunshine Award. Please check out their blogs when you have a free moment (uh, whenever that is) and if you like them I strongly encourage you to hit that follow button!
- Defining Motherhood
- Young American Wisdom
- All That Makes You
- Moments Matter
- Dear #S&!% Baby
- The Real Rub
- Happiness Stan Lives Here
- Pause and Smile
- South of the Fork
- Siouxsie Law
So you 10 follow the rules as I’ve listed above, and if you don’t already follow me, for heaven’s sake what the heck are you waiting for?
Did you like this post? If so, please click on the banner below to vote for me as a Top Mommy Blogger on TopMommyBlogger.com. I don’t win anything except a higher search engine ranking, plus bragging rights to my kids that I’m not as dorky as they think. (Okay, well maybe I am that dorky, but at least I’ll be easier to find on the Web.)
Stacy Dymalski is a stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). This blog is her new stage.
For more of Stacy’s comedy check out her hilarious book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom available in paperback and on Kindle on Amazon.com.