Jul 16

Podcast Episode 1: Making Change

making change Podcast Episode 1: Making Change

Is expecting your change a thing of the past?

Well, I’ve threatened to do this for quite some time, and now it’s finally happened. As of today I’m starting a podcast on my blog. So for those of you who are too busy to read my blog (which I totally understand, by the way, since I’m too busy to read half the blogs to which I subscribe), you can now download the podcasts of my blogs from iTunes (starting about three days from now) and listen to them when you’re in sitting in traffic or supposed to be paying attention during the preflight instructions. (Because if you don’t know how to buckle a seatbelt or where the emergency exits are by now, well, then let’s face it, maybe you should just let natural selection takes its course.) Read the rest of this entry »

Jul 13

Trophy Wife Wisdom

dusk view of park citysmall 300x199 Trophy Wife Wisdom

The view of Park City from Bald Eagle at Deer Valley

The other night I went to a summer soiree in Deer Valley with a friend. It was the kind of eclectic socio-economic shindig at which couples (ranging from ski bums to high tech CEO’s) get together and drink expensive wine that the hosts picked up while passing through the Rhone Valley on their way to Marseille for some nude sunbathing. A personal reward, I guess, for being on Jenny Craig all spring. Not exactly my idea of recompense, since to me nude sunbathing is right up there with that dream I occasionally have in which I’m naked in the frozen food aisle of a Super Walmart and all the obese people point at me and laugh. This vision usually permeates my subconscious when the gas or electric bill is looming and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pay either one. Read the rest of this entry »

May 30

Recording History in a Garage Sale

garage sale 300x300 Recording History in a Garage SaleWell, it’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog and I have a very good reason for that. Actually I have several reasons, the biggest being that I can’t clone myself. Between doing all my self-publishing workshops (which have become so popular I’ve now expanded them into Southern California), and working at the Park City Information Channel (I’m the Director of Program Development), and helping launch Sassypants Design (a funny greeting card business in Del Mar, CA, with my talented graphic designer friend, Amy Chin), I haven’t found time to uncross my eyes from the dizziness of it all. Let along get a coherent thought down on paper that’s even mildly entertaining.

But in addition to all that I’ve decided it’s time to move after 19 years of living in the same house. Read the rest of this entry »

Apr 15

Sassypants Design

asleep at desk 300x199 Sassypants Design

Why I’m no good at an office desk job

In my never-ending quest to avoid getting a real job, I have embarked upon yet another business venture that is fueled by my agile wit and pointed sense of humor. (Both of which have been discernible deterrents when it comes to relationships, especially those involving bosses that don’t appreciate a subordinate who graciously points out the absurd without being asked. I know, what dour ingrates, right?) Read the rest of this entry »

Apr 06

Birthday Beauty Secrets Revealed

george clooney 300x225 Birthday Beauty Secrets Revealed

Gray hair…hot

Recently I had a birthday. Birthdays, like annual mammograms, inevitably fall into the “good-news/bad-news” category. The great thing about having a birthday is that it means I’m not dead. The not-so-great thing about having a birthday is that it means I’m another year older, which if you look on the bright side circles back around to that “not-being-dead” thing.

But here’s the rub on trumping the Grim Reaper yet another year. Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 25

Making Change

Travelers at the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport 300x234 Making Change

This is my view of just about every traveler making a connecting flight

For someone who doesn’t make a living going on the road anymore, I sure have traveled a lot in the last 18 months. And with airlines cutting back, plane changes have become as common as bus stops. I’ve spent more time in airports lately waiting for connecting flights than I have at the gym. A fact I’m reminded of every time I get dressed in the morning. (Mirrored sliding closet doors? Seriously? Whose dumb idea was that?)

On one of my recent plane changes I had a layover in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport and I stopped in for a latte at a coffee joint that shall remain nameless. However, last I checked they’d over-expanded so widely they had a shop on every planet between here and Uranus. And to pay for your overpriced universal coffee you had to use an intergalactic currency known as “star bucks.”

Anywho, I bought a latte, which came to $4.84. I paid with a $5 bill and then waited for my change, but it didn’t come. Instead the young woman helping me shut the cash drawer, craned her neck to look around me like I was blocking her view of The Pope shooting craps and yelled, “NEXT!” Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 17

Unreal Real Estate Stories

moving day 300x242 Unreal Real Estate Stories

Our stuff looked like this for the first 11 years of my life

I’ve lived in the same house for the last 19 years, which is longer than I’ve ever lived anywhere else in my entire life. When I was a kid we moved around a lot until I was 11. Between the first and fifth grades I went to four different elementary schools, which ignited my comedy career. Constantly relocating like caffeinated nomads forced me to hone my sense of humor. I wasn’t pretty, so I opted for funny in order to fit in and not get beaten to a pulp (or worse, ridiculed) just because I was the tall, skinny, bucktoothed, new girl.

But now I want to move. Read the rest of this entry »

Feb 28

Happiness 101

Happiness coffee 250x300 Happiness 101Every Tuesday morning I get up at what feels like the middle of the night and go to a 7:00 a.m. Toastmasters meeting. I know what you’re thinking. How can anyone be coherent enough at that hour to do anything other than choke down an overpriced cup of coffee christened with a pretentious Italian name?

Let me tell you, it takes some getting used to.

But the thing that helps me transition from sloth to smooth talker (and attentive listener) at “What-the-hell-am-I-doing-up”? o’clock in the morning is Read the rest of this entry »

Feb 21

Naming My Wifi is Hard Work

wifi versus pay phone 199x300 Naming My Wifi is Hard Work

What am I supposed to do with this, Mom?

After 20 years of owning the same landline phone number, I’m finally biting the bullet and getting rid of my home phone. Even though my kids and I have had cell phones for years, I hung on to that damn landline thinking it would be my saving grace if the satellites ever went out and I had to get in touch with my kids. Never mind the fact my kids wouldn’t have phones that worked, so what good would my precious landline be?

Levelheaded people pointed out the flaw in my logic several times, but I still insisted on keeping that stupid landline just in case. Because I knew in the event of an apocalypse my kids would comb the war-torn, radioactive barren landscape in search of a pay phone to call home. Provided they could figure out how to use a pay phone…which would be a challenge since it’s about as foreign to them as an 8-track tape. Read the rest of this entry »

Feb 16

Writers Jokes, or Why I Like Hanging Out With Writers

crazy writer 300x233 Writers Jokes, or Why I Like Hanging Out With Writers

Me if I haven’t had enough coffee–or too much. I can’t remember which.

Writers are a special breed. They’re often the ones quietly sitting off in a corner by themselves at a party, but ironically they’re the ones you would want to engage in conversation. They usually add intellectual Technicolor to a discussion, because in most cases they’ve spent a lifetime crafting a spectacularly vivid point of view that is so unique, their prose keeps everyone else from going crazy. Read the rest of this entry »

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